He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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