I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
