I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
