I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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