try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
