I'm eating all of the evidence.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
