So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
