Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
