Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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