Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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