I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
