Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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