Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
