I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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