I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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