This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
