We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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