Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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