just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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