Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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