omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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