so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
