I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
