I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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