break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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