Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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