Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
