well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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