Ambien. No doubt about it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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