hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
