if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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