I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Farmville is her only friend.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
