I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
