Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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