Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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