dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
