walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
