Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
