I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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