I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
