i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
