we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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