i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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