Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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