i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
