He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
