News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
