I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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