Where is the hickey?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
