singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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