she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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