Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
