Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize