Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
